by Fred the Fundamentalist
So, I made a mistake. And after two weeks of thinking it through, I’ve realized the error of my ways. I had completely forgotten that God used the word “Easter” in Acts 12:4 when I criticized the use of “Easter” as a name for the day the Lord was resurrected.
Now, one of the commenters called “Easter” an incorrect translation, because he said the word should be translated “Passover.” The man doesn’t know what he’s saying. It’s the KJV! And the KJV is never wrong. God wrote the KJV. When God opens up books on judgment day, one of them will be the KJV.
I mean, think about it. It’s called the “Authorized Version.” Who authorizes a Bible? Well, only God can authorize a Bible! Which means that the KJV is authorized by God. So if the KJV’s translation is different than what the Greek says, the KJV is correct, and the Greek is wrong. You don’t give authority to a bunch of Catholic monks who probably deliberately mis-copied the Scriptures in order to turn us all into pagans when God himself wrote an authorized version of the Bible in 1611 to prove that He never let any corruption happen to a single jot or tittle.
Basically, we don’t need the Greek anymore. We have the Authorized Version.
7 responses so far ↓
1 lonelypilgrim // Apr 11, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Quote from Fred, “That man doesn’t know what he’s saying.”
Now Fred, don’t go all NIV or Message on us here. It’s “That man knoweth not what he sayeth.”
Fred, if you start talking that way, pretty soon people will think that it is OK if they read a Bible that sounds that way. The next thing you know they’ll start thinking the NIV or NRSV or HCSB or so forth are equal to the King Jesus Version….I mean King James Version. Who knows what might happen then. Oh the horror. They might even think that those new fangled versions are better for the 21st century. Oh, I can’t bear to think of it no more.
2 Ben // Apr 12, 2008 at 4:49 pm
Fred, you wrote that post while peeing standing up, right?
3 Mike F. // Apr 14, 2008 at 8:08 am
Am I correct in assuming the KJV that will be opened up on judgement day will be a Scofield?
4 Fred the Fundamentalist // Apr 14, 2008 at 8:12 am
lonelypilgrim, I hath been thinking for some time that, since the KJV is the authoritative word on all things, we shouldst also assume that it is perfect in all its grammatical constructs. Therefore, we shouldst speak in that way henceforth, peradventure we may scarcely avoid the wrath of God which is coming upon all false grammars of men.
Ben, of course I did.
Mike, of course it will.
5 Brian // Apr 29, 2008 at 9:52 am
Unfortunately, satire is dead. I know this because there are in fact fundamentalists who preach that the KJV corrects the Greek, namely Peter Ruckman and his followers.
6 Travis Prinzi // Apr 29, 2008 at 9:58 am
Brian, don’t give away my secret, man! The best “satire” for fundamentalists is the stuff they really believe. Fundamentalists tend to satire themselves…
7 Travis Prinzi // Apr 29, 2008 at 9:59 am
Gail Riplinger believes this as well, by the way.
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